
On parenthood and suicidal/self-harm fantasies
Nerdnote #155: thoughts on parenthood and suicidal/self-harm fantasies
Tuesday, October 17, 2023 1:43pm
Today I am thinking about how much of parenting is a practice of self-regulation. Now that I have a one-year-old, I am constantly talking myself down, talking myself (and others) through the consequences of allowing my child to live her life, getting out of the way while she explores new skills, tries solutions that I know won't work, take risks that make my uterus and vulva twist in dismay.

On grief and MRI results
Nerdnote #147: on grief and MRI results
Wednesday, June 14, 2023 9:15pm
It's my baby's birthday today. She's one.
Her Auntie Nora is visiting from Tennessee this weeek, and they are currently watching ...Ru Paul's Drag Race? with her other mom in the livingroom. I am sitting alone in the kitchen with the remains of Larb Thai dinner and my thoughts on grief and injury.
I handed her off a few minutes ago when she spotted the black cat image on Dr Kelsey's CleanPro cat kibble bag tucked up in the top shelf of our pantry and got all excited, thinking it was our black cat Catapult, who passed away three weeks and two days ago.

Ginger slices soaked in vinegar: for sprains
I rolled my right ankle Monday morning while hiking the Lower Jordan Fire Trail in the Berkeley hills in the misty not quite rain. I was able to limp back to the car, leaning on my partner…

On being a Doctor of “Oriental” Medicine
Nerdnote #58: What's in a name? or, a Chinese-American's reflections on being a Doctor of Oriental Medicine
The words that we use to describe ourselves are important. Here and now, we are finally beginning to honor the right to choose these words. However, in my professional life, I find unmanageable labels applied to my highest achievements.

On Grief
Nerdnote #34: on grief
written August 17, 2017
I've been thinking about grief lately, watching it unfold in one of my patients eerily mirroring my own experience, and wondering why nobody's written about the way it runs its course, like a fever or an injury.
I wish I had kept better records of my own process, ennumerate the things I wish I'd known.

On Dreaming
Nerdnote #2: On Dreaming (from Suwen 80, Lingshu 43/80)
sent on October 19, 2015
Hi Margaret,
Here’s an alphabetical list of Nei Jing references to dreams that I compiled on November 4, 2014. I’ll try to get you an actual translation (Amy-style, beware incoming whimsical approximations! :p) soon.